One of those folks is my friend Dawn, who is an absolute rockstar in the business game. She’s an undergrad alum of Cal-Berkeley, an MBA alum of Cornell, and is a fast-rising leader in the healthcare industry. Like me, she mentors several young professionals and gives her all to ensure that they follow the right path as they progress through their careers. I’m bringing her up because she plays a big role in this blog entry.
The emails below refer to an email exchange that started back in November, stalled for about a month, and then restarted right before Christmas. The exchange involves an MBA applicant (who I’ll refer to as CC to protect her identity) who was referred to me by Dawn in late November because of her interest in Stanford GSB. After a few back-and-forth emails, I offered to make time to talk with her about my experiences at the GSB and then I heard nothing at all… Crazy, right? At that point, I figured that I wouldn’t hear from her anymore and forgot about it until I received a response a month later.
What followed that long-delayed email was an exchange between Dawn, CC, and myself that contained some fantastic feedback and advice on how a young business professional should conduct him- or herself when interacting with more senior professionals, especially those from which some kind of help is requested. After reading the emails in our discussion, I realized that they could be combined to create a pretty good blog entry so that the guidance from Dawn and I could be shared with others. Given that we’re both alums of top MBA programs, it offers an opportunity for unplanned, direct feedback to an applicant from MBA alums that both had wished we’d received similar advice while we were applicants. Plus, more selfishly, it made for an easy-to-create blog entry since half of the content was just copied from emails. 🙂
By the way, both Dawn and CC are African-American, so, in the text below, you’ll see a couple of references to the idea of being a “Black MBA”. This doesn’t have anything to do with the applicability of the feedback to people who are of other racial backgrounds, but I wanted to call that out early to give readers a heads up about it. When it comes to professional decorum, it is all about action, not color.
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Marquis,
I am so sorry. After reviewing our email thread, I am just seeing your reply. I still would love to chat with you. Do you have any time this week? I am in Central Time Zone as well. I am actually in Chicago for the weekend. Just let me know what your schedule permits and I will find a time that matches my availability.
Best,
CC’s email to me:
CC
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OK, let me walk you through what I was thinking when I saw this email. First, it had been about 4 weeks since my last email to her and I was just then hearing from her…strike #1. Second, it seemed like she was suggesting that I should carve out time during the weekend to talk with her when that happened to be the weekend before Christmas…strike #2. Third, this was someone that had been referred to me by a friend and this behavior could have reflected badly on that friend…strike #3. Ugh.
I knew that this could be a good teaching moment and, as my longtime reader know, I’ve sort of got a knack for that kind of thing. So, with Dawn’s blessing, I sent the following to CC in response to her message (the email has been modified to make it suitable for posting).
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Excerpts from my email to CC:
CC,
Thanks for your email, but it is tremendously late in being sent and, to be honest, I almost deleted it immediately. The only reason that I’m sending this email is because Dawn and I have an understanding when it comes to our mentees’ behaviors and trying to help folks do better. That understanding is also why I’ve cc’ed her onto this email.
A few points of feedback from a Black MBA alum to an aspiring Black MBA student:
- I sent my email on Nov. 26. Today is Dec. 21…about 4 weeks later. Unless you’ve been in the hospital for the past month, there is truly no reason that it should have taken you that long to respond to a busy person who was willing to carve time out of his busy schedule to talk to you. You would be the one benefiting from the interaction, so common business courtesy would dictate that you would respond to my email as close to immediately as possible.
- Your suggestion that we could talk this weekend would presume that I’d want to invest part of my limited non-work time on a weekend in helping out a perfect stranger who wasn’t respectful enough of my willingness to help to respond to my email by the end of November. AND, it further presumes that I’d want to spend part of my Christmas holiday doing this. In the words of Ed Lover, “C’mon SON!”…that would be just plain funny if it weren’t for the fact that I was the person on the other side of the situation.
- You were connected to me by Dawn and she and I are friends, so I’m not going to look at her any differently because of your actions. But, what if I’d been a professional connection of hers and you acted like this? All of the sudden, your lack of follow-through would risk damaging her professional reputation through nothing that she’d done but vouch for you. That’s not fair to her, especially after she leveraged her connections to help you out.
- What if I wasn’t a friend of Dawn’s? What if I was a random guy that you contacted for some kind of help or advice? Would you have acted the same way? And, before you answer, you should know that there is no right answer to this question. If the answer is yes, then you’d be positioning that person to believe that you aren’t reliable and, as such, are unworthy of any consideration, advice, or help. In other words, you’d be seen as a waste of that person’s very limited non-work time. If your answer is no, then I’d be left wondering why you would think that it would be OK to act as if I am not deserving of a prompt response…which would be a big negative.
If you’re going to be a member of the Black MBA community, you’ve got to remember that your actions have the potential to pact the way that non-Black professionals look at all of us. Don’t be the one that causes someone to assume that Black folk aren’t on their sh!t when it comes to professional decorum. To put it in ‘hood terms, if you wanna be in the club, don’t be the cat who keeps bumping the DJ stand and throws off the rhythm of the folk who are on the dancefloor grinding.
…
Marquis
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Soon after sending my email, I was surprised to see a follow-up message from Dawn that acknowledged my feedback and then built upon it with some amazing feedback of her own. The big difference between my feedback and hers was that mine was based only on a single event (her late email), but Dawn’s was based on several other actions leading up to this and her long-time relationship with CC, which made it especially powerful. Also, it is obvious that Dawn has a genuine respect for for CC’s potential as a professional, so she delivered the hard-hitting “scared straight” sort of message that some young professionals never have a chance to receive.
With Dawn’s permission, I’ve posted some parts of her email below because I thought it was brilliant, especially her list of character building habits. I’m really glad that she was OK with me sharing this because these habits are truly best practices for anyone going into the business world, regardless of educational, professional, or racial background.
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Excerpt from Dawn’s email:
What Marquis has given you is unfiltered, unshielded “real talk!” I’ve said this before but (all Cal jokes set aside) you are applying to STANFORD… STANFORD!!! It really doesn’t matter what institution it was because your brand should matter whether it is ITT or Harvard… But, this is NOT a game. People kill to get into the institutions that Marquis and I represent. That said– as BLACK candidates we were always higher performers than others. This is how we succeeded and how we will continue to succeed.
The thing is, that once you’re in there will be so much more perceived of you and expected of you in order to cross the finish line. Strangely enough– getting in is the easiest part. Getting out and competing at the levels that will follow are much, much harder. You are blessed that you are learning this lesson on this side rather than as a student or post-graduate professional.
With this “second chance” I want you to adopt these character building habits:
The ability I see in you is irrelevant if your actions don’t ensue. This is your time to capture and set the stage for a long-term dream. It will not be your only or last opportunity… But, it could be one of the most important depending on what you do with it.
You are talented… Let’s act like it.
…
…
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Wow, pretty stellar feedback, right? I love having friends who understand how the game works and are willing to share that wisdom with the next generation. Hopefully, this advice will be helpful to someone else out there who is aiming for a successful career in business.
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